Someone much wiser than I once said “there is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you (Maya Angelou). However, without disrespect to the great Mrs Angelou, I can think of a few things more agonizing than witholding material at my next cahuin. Luckily for this post, its something that collides with all of the above: its a good story, its a little unknown and its a bit agonizing at times. Any idea what I am speaking about?
It’s sex, of course. Or more specifically, it’s the absence of sex that inevitably drives you bonkers when you live in close proximity to others, be they flat mates, family or (worse still) your baby.
Nearby my house, a brand spanking new motel opened recently. The property was originally some old, crumbling houses that have since been done up, painted a bright red color and given a nice entrance with plants and the usual trimmings.
This motel is not the type of holiday accomodation you may be used to, given that its of the X-rated kind.
Now I have no experience with that particular motel so I cannot reveal whether it is any good or not, but I have been to several others. In my early days here, Santiago’s “love motels” used to fascinate me endlessly. I’d ponder them at length with my oldest and dearest expat amiga and we’d always reach the same conclusion: they were dirty, foul places for dirty people looking to engage in extramarital affairs.
I quickly changed my mind after I visited one.
A few years ago, Luis and I lived with a guy who was always having parties, in the same house where we live now. There was no privacy thanks to the walls being paper thin and one time, after a stage of bad arguing, we found that all our intimate details had done the rounds of Luis’ friends. So we were desperate for some alone time, and Luis suggested a motel.
This did not make me happy in any way, shape or form but I was so desperate to get away and we had no other option so off we went.
It was glorious.
We discreetly drove in and parked our car in the allocated park space. Directly in front was a staircase that discreetly took us upstairs into a big, clean, spacious room. To the right was a bathroom with soaps and shower gels, and opposite the bathroom was a jacuzzi. To the left on a little platform was the bed, lined with mirrors, and there was also a TV and radio. There was a menu offering different meals, snacks and drinks and you ordered by phoning reception. When it was ready, a knock came at a tiny wooden window, where the food was pushed through. When it was time to leave, we simply called reception and paid the bill via the window. Then we drove off. The entire transaction was completed without seeing a single person.
These hotels are rented in blocks and there are different quality rooms and services depending on how much you want to pay. One of the cheaper ones we went to was literally an old bed in a dark room and a bathroom (we didn’t stay). My favorite love motel can be found on Avenida Peru in Recoleta, opposite the Parque Bicentenerio de la Infancia, called Hotel El Buda. It’s expensive yes, but if you want to spice things up its worth it (especially if you were apart for 9 months, or are co-sleeping with your baby!).
This motel is lit up like a disco at night time and when you enter you are taken into a little waiting room where you peruse the menu of themed rooms you can choose from. When you are ready, you are taken into a glass elevator and taken to the room, but you are also allowed to see different options first. Some of the themes include: Aztec, Egypt, Under the Sea, Paris, Las Vegas, Jamaica and many, many more. You can see the list here. The website bleats on about the teachings of Buddha and the many joys of Tantric Sex, but really this is just a place that makes things convenient in a city where people often live at home until they marry, or live with extended family members. It’s also located on the outskirts of Bellavista, which must make business boom on weekends
So my opinion? Don’t knock them until you try them! You never know when you might need some alone time with your loved one. Maybe jot the address down in case the opportunity arises when you haven’t tidied your bedroom 🙂
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