Mummy in Chile

Mummy Diaries: Day in the Life Of

Floating … please take my hand James McAvoy … I mean Ewan McGregor – oh ok you´re both in my dream, I´ll accept that. Just please keep speaking Scottish. This is amazing … wait why are my children in the water too? And they´re drowning – this is a NIGHTMARE! Wake up, wake up! 

So much crying … that is real crying. Oh no, the baby is waking up. 5 more minutes! Wait please don´t leave me James! Not you too Ewan!!!! Noooooo!!!

I should get up. I´ll get up.  Does he not hear that noise?!

My boob feels so empty. It has no squish now.

Am I the only one who sees a kitchen full of dishes and thinks to DO THE DISHES!!!!

I´d love just one morning where I get breakfast in bed. And a sleep in. Hint hint hint hint hint HINT!

You´ll make it? Best husband ever!

I am so hungry. What is taking so long?!!!  Why he is going so slow – is he doing everything separately?! Just multitask OMG! 

What is the baby eating? I really do need to vacuum.

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During the Day

Son lets play!! Yes I´d love to play Thomas! Let the baby join in, Emilio. Emilio? Emilio! Emilio – EMILIO!!!!! Not the eyes Emilio!

Poor baby.

No don´t draw on the – be careful of the – don´t drop the – watch out!!

*sees red*

*cry a little bit*

I hate this sometimes.

I feel awful. I love my life – I am the luckiest person in the world.

I miss working. I miss cramming up my day with important stuff. I miss money!

Urgh I want to lose control! Give me wine! How much can you drink while breastfeeding again?

All that pumping and dumping seems like a lot of work.Will wait a bit longer. But I will lose control one day!

I just farted. Pretend it was the baby. Why does this keep happening now?!

Time to go shopping.  What to wear? Haven´t worn that in a while – wait can´t breastfeed in that. I´ll wear – wait, can´t do it discreetly in that one. Ah fuck it – no-ones looking at these flabbyflabs anymore!

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At the Shop

He doesn´t need a lollipop but thank you.  Yes my baby is fine, thank you. No he isn´t too big, just those gringo genes!! Yes he seems warm enough – another blanket would probably kill him but thank you for that. No lolly for the baby, but thank you.

Breastfeeding and walking – I am a mummy superstar! Self five

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At the Nursery

I have to buy WHAT?

My son is two, he can´t possibly do that even with adult help. Oh I have to make THAT? 

Dinner

Hmm what can I bribe him with today?

This doesn´t end.

Is that a vein popping out of my head?

I really need a minute to myself

Oh poor darling.

Must.resist.urge.to.give.in

Gave in.

I am the worst mother ever. 

Did that count as a balanced meal?

Better put him in the bath now before the baby cries. Wait – baby is crying. Do it with baby crying or do it later?

Later. Oh man it is late!

Bedtime

Please don´t pick Thomas for the fourth consecutive night … yay Thomas!!!!  Better sing him the songs too.  Will he get too cold tonight? But it´s hot now – aaahhh Santiago has crazy weather!!  Ok, I´ll read another story. 

Cuddles are just the best ever. Look at that little face, those little eyelashes, his little nose … what is that in his hair? Better check he doesn´t need the potty.

Hurry up on that potty, son!

Aaaahhh cuddles!

Your cheek/against mine/that is/the most delicious thing.

Delicious. Scrumptious. Splendiferous. Roald Dahl – man I can´t wait to read those books again. I mean for the children and everything.

I could cuddle forever … and he´s asleep – RUN!!!  Now to check the baby.

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Some Time Later

FREEDOM!

Time to dig out all the adult treats!!!

Food, food – where is the food?!

Am I eating too much? I´ll never get rid of this floppy stomach.

Ah fuck it – I have TWO kids!!! Where did I hide that chocolate bar again?

Crying baby on TV.  God am I lactating? This is so embarrassing.

This scene between the child and her mother is making me well up. I´m so sensitive these days.

Aaaagh don´t wake up!!! Please, please, please.  I still need to take a shower!

My bed feels so good I think I might disappear into it … oh hello! Are we cuddling tonight?

Some time later (but not that long)

If we woke the baby up it is your turn.

On Date Night

Pushup bra oh yeah!

I wonder what the kids are doing.

Hmm what to say? I want to be funny. And sexy.

I hope the kids are ok. Should I call and check?

Gosh look at that couple. Were we ever like that? Do you know, I just can´t remember!

I want to have sex like a porn star. Lets do it!!!
I thinkI ate way too much. Wait I need to pee – AGAIN!

Did I take the meat out for tomorrow? Internet bill is due too!

I do love my husband.

I can´t stand my husband.

Lights Out

I do love my life.

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3 comments

  1. Very lovely.
    I am always afraid that I might scream and run away leaving kids behind one day ……
    I always regret what I have said to my husband out of motherly stress ……
    But they always smile, smile, smile at me even when I think horrible things in my head

    I love my life too, I could not say this before I had my sons ( and my husband )

    Like

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